so my family sort of pushed it on me to have another wedding because some people didn’t come to the first one (and of my friends that were there, there was only one; the one that was not invited). so we did. it was in a church, and a bit smaller (with guests). walk down the aisle, all of a sudden my buddy 2LT M sends three automated robot things (they look like PEKKAs) and they automatically walk down the aisle. i’m thinking “cool, they would be cool to have in the background.” except they keep walking past the altar, and they jump out the window and fall out.
so now i’m like fuck. lisa jumps out the window and turns into an ar-wing, and i have to do the same. the PEKKAs are dogfighting some kind of flying pink corvette machine, so lisa and i help them in true Top Gun style.
we get back, basically the whole wedding is kind of a joke. all formality has gone out the window; it seems like people are like eating peanuts and watching with 3d glasses, being loud during the ceremony, talking loudly while me and lisa are doing the ceremony. essentially complete disrespect.
get through the ceremony, i’m like ‘fuck this.’ lisa starts crying while we’re walking out, she gets in the ‘marriage getaway car’ and drives off. and i’m getting pissed. i don’t want to go to the reception. i thought it’d be a nice wedding, but instead it’s a farce. i get in my car and drive off, i have one of my buddies, SFC C apparently is in the car with me and tries to calm me down.
he doesn’t really succeed, and i make two calls: one to my mom, bitching at her about planning this wedding really poorly. i make the second one to my soccer buddy Moe (and the person unnamed above), saying “i’m not going to the reception, this wedding is bullshit, i didnt even want you there anyway.”
i woke up really upset this morning.
i only smile when i lie
then i tell them why
Menswear Dog is a 3 year old shiba inu living in NYC with a panache for all things style.